What is the key to a long-lasting relationship and happy marriage? Despite the fact that this age-old question appears at every wedding, anniversary, and engagement party, finding a precise response is difficult.
Couples vary greatly, and even the most loving and caring relationships require nurturing and care. If youโre young and in love, and youโre not sure how to โmake it work,โ talk to happy older couples you know about the secrets of a long-lasting relationship.
Seniors can offer guidance and insight based on their many years of experience.
According to studies of unsuccessful relationships and marriages, few people are ready to put in the effort required to achieve this level of love. Relationships are difficult to maintain. Even the most successful couples agree that it is difficult to keep their love alive. You may, however, create a long-lasting connection if you are prepared to put out the work.
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TABLE OF CONTENT
- INTRODUCTION TO FORGIVENESS
- A BIT MORE ABOUT SOLVING PERSONAL PROBLEMS
- THE NATURAL END OF THE RELATIONSHIP
- THE IMPORTANCE OF RESTRICTING MANIPULATION
- MARITAL RELATION
- OTHER TYPES OF RELATIONSHIP
- CONCLUSION
Conflict arises basically from disagreement or differences, and it is normal in any relationship. There is no how on earth two people are always expected to agree on everything at all times.
This is to say that conflict cannot be avoided in any type of relationship, but it can be prevented to some extent and can be resolved in a healthy way. When conflict is mismanaged in any relationship, it causes great harm, but when it is handled positively and respectfully, it strengthens the bond between the parties in the relationship.
However, the aim of this article is to help you establish a solid and long-lasting relationship with your partner, or people around you, whether friends or family members; and also to help you prevent conflict from arising often in your relationship.
INTRODUCTION TO FORGIVENESS(Healthy Relationship)
Being hurt by someone, especially one who you trust and love so much is heartbreaking and can cause so much anger, confusion, and sadness which welcome grudges filled with resentment, thoughts of vengeance, and hostility. When negative feelings swallow positive feelings, one might find oneself swallowed up by unimaginable bitterness.
Understanding FORGIVENESS (Meaning & Definition Explained) What is Forgiveness?
What is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness, according to psychologists, is a conscious, deliberate decision to reduce feelings of resentment or vengeance toward someone or a group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they truly deserve your forgiveness or not.
Understanding what forgiveness is not is just as essential as defining what forgiveness is. Experts who research or teach forgiveness make it clear that forgiving does not mean ignoring or downplaying the gravity of a crime committed against you.
Forgiveness does not imply forgetting or approving or excusing wrongdoing. Though forgiveness can aid in the mending of a broken relationship, it does not oblige you to reconcile with the person who has wronged you or to revoke your forgiveness.
It is therefore the intentional and voluntary choice that someone makes to let go of another personโs o. This does not, healthily this and can forgetting or condoning, but the act of letting go of negative feelings that are deeply held by a person.ย
Forgiveness, however, doesnโt come without any benefit. Some of the benefits of letting go of deeply held negative feelings are:
- It brings peace of mind, gratitude, joy, and hope.
- Also, it helps you free from the control of the person that harmed you.
- Helps you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define and control you.
- Also improves mental health and heart health.
- Improves self-esteem, leads to feelings of understanding, compassion, and empathy.
- Forgiveness lowers blood pressure and lessens anxiety and stress.
Studies have proven that the act of forgiveness reaps huge rewards health-wise, both mentally and physically. Studies have also shown that some people who are naturally more forgiving tend to be very much satisfied with their lives and experience less anxiety, hostility, anger, and depression.ย
How can someone develop a forgiving attitude?
- Try to think about the event that caused you the hurt by someone, reflect on how youโve been affected by the person.
- Recognize the value of forgiveness and just decide to forgive, if not for anything, but for the improvement of your life.
- Acknowledge the wrongs youโve done to the other person if you are the one who needs to be forgiven.
- Realize that your life moves on, and your relationship may not be changed when you apologize to the other person, or when the other person apologies to you. Therefore, let go of expectations.
- Have a feeling of empathy for the other. Sometimes try to understand that human beings differ and so many things help to shape peopleโs behavior while growing up. When you are able to realize this, you would be able to understand why people are entitled to their opinions, as they viewed things differently from diverse perspectives. For example, you donโt expect a lady who grew up in an abusive and violent home to totally behave like someone who grew up in a peaceful and loving home.
A BIT MORE ABOUT SOLVING PERSONAL PROBLEM(Healthy Relationship)
What is a personal problem?
A lot of people define this as a problem one can fix by oneself.
A person problem is something that influences your life in a relationship with people, or outside work or school. There are, however, some things that are very unique to us which our friends, colleagues, and relaxation around us do not know about.ย
One party in a relationship might be the one constantly putting on an annoying character that always brings conflict in that relationship even without such person knowing.
Thus, personal problem solving is very important to your mental health because when you are not sure how to approach an issue playing on your mind, the stress alone can impact your overall health and mood negatively.
Having the ability to solve personal problems is very necessary for a healthy relationship. And unless personal problems are controlled, oneโs relationship with others diminishes drastically.
One may be asking what are these personal problems. Personal problems come in various ways. Oneโs personal problems may differ from anotherโs. Examples of these problems are emotional difficulties, financial crisis, health problems, anger, oneโs sexual orientation, addictive behavior such as alcohol abuse, and so on.
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STEPS TO RESOLVE PERSONAL PROBLEMS(Healthy Relationship)
- Identify your personal problem:
You canโt solve a problem without first of all knowing the cause or the root of the problem, and you canโt know the root or cause of a problem without first of all acknowledging that there is a problem needed to be solved.ย
For you to resolve your personal issues, you have to spend time to notice and acknowledge your weaknesses in your relationship. Pinpoint those things that normally cause conflict in your relationship and know the actual root of the problem. Discover your own emotional differences.ย
- Define the problem:
Having seen the root of the problems, try defining them by going through them one after the other, that is, one problem at a time.
- Generate, evaluate and choose a solution:
After defining the problems, think on the best way to proceed with solutions to them and list any ideas that come to mind immediately. Once that is done, you can now move to evaluate the ideas to know which best one to adopt. After the evaluation, go ahead and pick your preferred solutions.
- Develop a plan of action, and implement the solutions:
After you might have picked your preferred solutions, break them down into series of smaller steps, then think of the first step to start with. Are the steps youโve chosen something you can start with today or tomorrow? After analyzing your steps, donโt waste any time implementing the solutions.
Solving a financial crisis, you have to first acknowledge and accept the situation, and begin a step to resolve it by setting your financial priority right. Also, identify the causes of your financial issues. For example, if you are having multiple debts, find ways to consolidate the dept and possibly attempt repaying them by installment.
This will lessen the burden of multiple debts from your shoulder, and with time you will be able to clear your debt. This requires commitment and discipline.
In solving health issues, the first thing to do is to consider a change of lifestyle by cutting down on unhealthy foods and consuming more healthy diets. Experience breathing fresh air, always get hydrated and seek qualified medical help from time to time. Get different options about your state of health and get the best affordable Care.
Dealing with anger? First, understand that everyone gets angry, but, itโs oneโs ability to manage oneโs anger that matters. Some people react very quickly and negatively to anger, and this causes a great problem in a relationship.
Anger management is an interpersonal skill and it is considered as part of emotional intelligence.
When your partner pisses you off, you can control your anger by not reacting to the situation immediately. Try to remain silent and donโt be aggressively vocal.
Other ways to deal with personal problems in order to establish a solid, long-lasting relationship are:
- Be thankful for a new relationship
- Getting ample relaxationrelaxation and rest
- Getting emotional support
- Learn to profit from criticisms
- Visualize self-enhancing behavior
- Stop denying the existence of problems
Note that personal problems hugely influence our relationships with people, as so many of us transfer our pers health ilyonal problems to someone else who is innocent of what we are passing through. Keeping these problems under control saves our relationships.
The 3 Most Common Reasons For Breaking Up
THE NATURAL END OF A RELATIONSHIP
Sometimes, you find yourself in a very sweet and perfect relationship. But, all of a sudden, your perfect relationship crashes. You always wonder how these things happen. At first, you never envisaged any factor that would possibly cause you to break up with your partner, but then it happened.
Well, there are so many things that cause a relationship to die naturally, some of these things are:
- Betrayal & Dishonesty:
Betrayal damages even the most perfect relationship of all time. The feelings of betrayal are so severe that the relationship cannot move ahead, and even if it should move forward, there will be a lack of trust in such a relationship. Trust is an expensive gift that should not be expected from cheap people.
Honesty, on its part, is very essential in a relationship. Dishonesty from a partner causes the other partner to lose faith and trust. Even when the trust is restored, it is quasi, and can never be real as that earned at the early stage of the relationship.
- Selfishness:
Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a psychologist and relationship expert said that โGreat relationships rely on partners being willing to give each other on many levels.โ When selfishness overpowers selflessness, the relationship gradually dies a natural death.
- Superficial Connection vs Deeper Connection:
At the initial stage, connecting with someone comes in several ways. But, with time, when you begin to know each other well, then you will be able to realize your level of connection with each other.
At some point, you might even be surprised to realize that you do not connect so deeply with the other person on deeper issues like religion and values. This has a way of bringing a good relationship to a halt.
- People grow apart:
A human being changes every day. As your relationship evolves, some changes creep into the relationship, some of these changes may cause the relationship to collapse.
Values, goals, personal interests, and career pursuits can cause individuals to grow apart.
- Fear and Desperation:
Itโs very much normal to be scared of losing your partner, especially the one you love and value so much. But, the problem arises when you allow your insecurities to lead you to do irrational things just to keep your partner around. I will say that this is when desperation comes in.
Sometimes, clinging around your partner too tightly can be annoying, and can cause your partner to feel suffocated. In your head, you may be thinking that you are doing what will make your partner happy, but you will be surprised to know that your partner smells fear and desperation from your act of creating happiness for him or her.
And when fear and desperation invade your relationship, it naturally slides away.
- Incompatibility:
When two people are not compatible in a relationship, there is every tendency for such a relationship to collapse. The opposite can indeed relationships can to it is compatibility that will decide if the relationship will last long or not.
- Grief or Loss by a Partner:
When a partner is experiencing grief, maybe the partner loses the mother or a family member, the relationship may be a painful place to stay at that particular point in time.ย
- ย Lack of Communication:
Communication is a very vital part of every relationship. A relationship smells trouble when the parties welcome a lack of effective communication.
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THE IMPORTANCE OF RESTRICTING MANIPULATION(Healthy Relationship)
Manipulation is often associated with emotional abuse, especially in an intimate relationship. Long-term manipulation has a lot of effects in any close relationship, such as the relationship between friends, family members, and intimate partners.
Manipulation deteriorates the health of those in a relationship and can even lead to the end of such a relationship.
ย In a marital or romantic relationship, manipulation can cause one partner to feel isolated, bullied, or worthless. Even in a healthy relationship, a partner can manipulate the other just so to avoid confrontation.
In any intimate relationship, manipulation can come by exaggeration, guilt, showing affection selectively, keeping secrets, and passive aggression.
ย Examples of some of the ways people manipulate are intimidating, shaming, ridiculing, judging, threatening, condemning, self-pity, humiliating, insulting, nitpicking, nagging, and comparing.
As the motive behind manipulation can vary from being unconscious to becoming malicious, restricting manipulation is very important in so many ways such as:
- Relationships will be free from guilt and shame.
- Free from anxiety, and you will not become hyper-vigilant to yourself and to others just to avoid being manipulated.
- Restricting manipulation reduces depression in a relationship because partners will be free from emotional abuse.
Note that when manipulation is not restricted in a relationship, it can deteriorate the health of the relationship and will cause the partner poor mental health, and might even lead the relationship to an end.
MARITAL RELATION
This is the relationship between a wife and a husband.
It could also be described as a domestic partnership, civil union, or any other form of relationship that is legally recognized that exists between two married partners.
A good, satisfying, and stable marital relation provides an important source of instrumental and emotional support, which is accompanied by increased economic well-being, physical and mental health, and other massive benefits which may result in more healthy behaviors among married people.
OTHER TYPES OF RELATIONSHIP
A relationship is any kind of connection or association that exists between people, be it romantic, platonic, negative, or positive.ย
There are basically, four types of relationships which are family relationships, friendship, acquaintanceship, and romantic relationships. A healthy relationship, no matter the type, will only take place when two individuals are able to connect and agree on core values like honesty, loyalty, and respect.
FAMILY RELATIONSHIP:
This is the very first type of relationship one experiences in life. It is that relationship that consists of parents, grandparents, children, grandchildren, spouses, uncles, aunties, cousins, and so on. These are the people we meet in our early stages of life, and they have an impact on both our physical growth, spiritual growth, and mental growth.
The family relationship helps to build oneโs backbone, and molds one through family rules and traditions.
Though not all family relationships are perfect, as you grow and mature, you will identify signs of trust, communication reliability, and would be able to work through conflict.ย
Thus, no matter how good or bad a family relationship is, togetherness is very important because it helps to grow and build stronger bonds between family members which makes a family resilient.
FRIENDSHIP:
These are the types of relationships that come and go as we journey through life. Just as family relationships, friendship is built on similar core values. You show and receive the kind of support that keeps you motivated, and a good feeling of yourself in a healthy friendship.
When you accept someone for who the person is, you show genuine interest in the personโs life and well-being, and if the person returns the same energy, a good friendship is just set to be established. Friends are our support system. Good friends support you through good times and bad times. A good friendship has the power to bring great fulfillment to oneโs life and well-being.
ACQUAINTANCESHIP:
An acquaintance is someone you know, but do not know the person intimately, or too well as a friend. An acquaintance could be someone you know from school, street, community, church, or work. Such a person may be there for casual friendship who serves the purpose of making references or connections.
However, we usually have more acquaintances than close friends. One of the benefits of having more acquaintances is that it helps to broaden oneโs social network and establishing connections between other people.ย
ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP:
This type of relationship is often more complicating in the sense that it is made up of several components such as passion, emotional commitment, and intimacy. In this relationship, Love plays a very important role and takes the relationship to the next level.
A romantic relationship needs trust from both parties and requires effort and commitment throughout. The individuals involved in a romantic relationship feel relaxed and safe in each otherโs arms, sharing the deepest secrets, emotions, and thoughts.
Again, there is always a need for physical embracement by partners. Kissing, hugging, holding hands, and going deeply intimate are elements that make up a romantic relationship. The more and more partners are committed to each other, the stronger the relationship becomes.
Nevertheless, in any type of relationship, start by loving yourself first. You canโt make a healthy and quality relationship with someone, or people when you are not really showing yourself the love that you deserve.
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CONCLUSION
The relationship that lasts long, and is free from constant conflict, is a relationship that the individuals involved play a vital role in taking care of their personal problems first, and not allowing it to influence their relationships. It is in that relationship that partners understand the need and importance of forgiveness.
ย Some of the strategies to prevent conflicts and establish solid, long-lasting relationship are workable in all theย types of relationship are:
- Practice active listening:
Always be a patient listener, and not defensive at all times. Make use of a soft tone when speaking to your partner or your friends. Let your relationship be based on mutual respect, love, understanding, and compassion. Avoid yelling at all costs.
- Keep calm during argument:
During the argument, itโs hard to keep track of whatโs being said. This is mostly the period partners pour out pilled-up issues which are always accompanied by harsh words that hurt. Therefore, in order to prevent prolonged conflict, be calm and control your anger when you are feeling frustrated and triggered in a conflict.
Choose your words with care and love, and avoid using harsh words and ugly curses.
- Let go of the past:
How can you let go of previous hurts and move on? Itโs a question many of us ask ourselves every time we encounter heartbreak or emotional distress. It is possible to make a deliberate decision to hold on to the past, just as it is possible to make a conscious decision to let go and go on.
Donโt hold on to the past that broke you into pieces. Make peace with your broken pieces and move on with life.
- Donโt always try to be right in all cases:
Give up your defensive attitudes, and the need to win every argument. Slow down the process of argument and listen carefully to whatever your partner is saying.
- Dissolve issues at the healthilythis article aims latent stage.
- Make your values known to your partner and friends.
- Communicate effectively and avoid silent treatment.
Donโt forget that conflict is a necessary part of any relationship, but it is unhealthy when it becomes part of the relationship. In as much as conflict is inevitable, it can be prevented, and when prevented, there will be room for a solid, long-lasting relationship to be established.
Did you find theย tipsย in thisย articleย to beย helpful or useful? What has been yourย experience, can you let go? Please Use theย COMMENT BOX BELOW!!
What is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness, according to psychologists, is a conscious, deliberate decision to reduce feelings of resentment or vengeance toward someone or a group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they truly deserve your forgiveness or not.
How can someone develop a forgiving attitude?
- Try to think about the event that caused you the hurt by someone, reflect on how youโve been affected by the person.
- Recognize the value of forgiveness and just decide to forgive, if not for anything, but for the improvement of your life.
- Try to think about the event that caused you the hurt by someone, reflect on how youโve been affected by the person.
- Recognize the value of forgiveness and just decide to forgive, if not for anything, but for the improvement of your life. Read more.
MARITAL RELATION
It could also be described as a domestic partnership, civil union, or any other form of relationship that is legally recognized that exists between two married partners.